Seven characteristics of self-knowledge
Who you are can either work for you or against you. To that extent, self-knowledge is key to both personal improvement and success. In simple terms, if you don’t know what needs to be improved, how can you improve it? And if you don’t know the formula behind your success how can you repeat it?
Self-knowledge is not easy. Sometimes you have to confront painful truths about yourself . Some of those truths (I know from my own experience) may be things that you have long recognised, but been slow to acknowledge and correct. However, without the capacity to ‘know thyself’ your ability to ‘realise thy potential’ will be significantly diminished.
This all sounds like common sense, but it might surprise you just how commonly people operate outside this framework of logic. As someone who has conducted dozens of recruitment interviews in previous years, it still amazes me how job applicants fail to profile their unique selling points, in an interview setting. If you don’t know what distinguishes you from your competitors, why should employers select you over them? With this in mid, here are seven key characteristics of self-knowledge.
1. Scent perception
Have you ever walked into room and caught the scent of a fragrance commonly used by someone you know? Even if they had left the room prior to your arrival, just the mere whiff of their scent in your nostrils would likely alert you to the fact that they had been there. There are two points to make here; the first is that we all leave a scent or a presence, which equates to the sum total of our habits behaviours and overall impact on the lives of those with whom we come in contact. Equally, just because you cannot detect a scent, because you have become so accustomed to it, does not mean that it is not present. The second point to highlight, is that not every scent is desirable. A person who has not washed for weeks can give off scent just as pungent as the best selling high-end designer perfume. In other words, some scents can repel, just as effectively as others attract.
2. Temptation to over-compensate
Let’s go back to the ‘scent’ analogy. I am sure that like me, you have been in the presence of someone who has simply gone overboard with their favourite fragrance. They have indulged themselves a bit too much and end up achieving the exact opposite of what they had intended. There is nothing wrong with compensation; we all do it to some degree. Fundamentally, it is borne out of a desire to improve and be better, by concealing cracks and gaps. It is unsurprising therefore that conscious awareness of our impact on others, might lead us to mitigate deficits and flaws, whilst amplifying strengths and qualities. To do so is evidence of maturity, common sense and self knowledge. However, over-compensation is often borne out of a desire to misdirect, deceive and avoid detection. It is driven by fear and can be evidence of deeper issues such as low self-esteem.
3. Maintenance costs
In social situations, the term ‘maintenance’ is often a by-word for how needy individuals are. People judged to be less needy, are seen as low maintenance and those judged to be very needy are seen as high maintenance. It goes without saying that sustaining relationships with people perceived as ‘high maintenance’ requires a considerable amount of patience, tolerance and diligence. Even more importantly, is the extent to which we, as individuals, are aware of how much actual maintenance we require and the ‘cost’ of this, to ourselves and others. As a case in point, someone who is prone to temper tantrums, may find it hard to sustain meaningful relationships, with those offering honest advice. Instead, they might cultivate associations with those who, to avoid conflict, will tell them what they want to hear, rather than what they need to know. Self-knowledge therefore, is not just about understanding what you represent as a ‘cost’ to others, but ultimately, what you represent as a ‘cost’ to yourself.
4. Baggage weight
The term ‘baggage’ is a euphemism that is often used by others, to describe the negative physical or psychological manifestations of an individual’s life experience. The varied and complex nature of life means that everyone carries ‘baggage’ that affects how they reason and behave. However, perhaps even more important than how much ‘baggage’ we carry, is how much it weighs. If you know what you are carrying and how much it weighs, then you are in a better position to decide whether it is worth carrying. Without this calculation, we wittingly or unwittingly end up carrying ‘baggage’ that impedes our ambitions, goals and aspirations. This is the essence of self-knowledge; the ability to be consciously mindful of, not just what we have, but also the implications of keeping it and whether it might be better to let it go.
5. Footprint measurement
How do you know the difference between a child’s footprint compared to that of an adult? Or a male’s compared to a female’s? The ‘foot-print principle’ is predicated on the assumption that irrespective of who we are, we all leave a reputational impression behind, which lingers long after we have left the room. Indeed there are those who will recognise your foot-print before they even meet you. Why is this so? It is so because you reputation or brand are not static, they are mobile. For better or for ill, those whose lives we impact, form views in their minds about us. Based on those interactions, they not only convince themselves of who they think we are, they also convince others. Knowing that we all leave a foot-print, surely dictates that we should give careful thought to what sort of impression we leave behind.
6. Shock value
We all understand shock value right? The extent to which we can be completely taken aback by something we observe, hear or discover, is a characteristic that everyone has. But let’s flip this on its head for a second — how well do we as individuals, understand our own shock value? In other words, if or when those who know us tell us things about us, how often are we completely taken aback by what we discover? In the context of self-knowledge, someone with genuine depth of self-recognition, should never be shocked by insights and observations fed back to them by others. Particularly so when such insights and observations, are confirmed and corroborated by multiple informed sources. In summary therefore, low shock value is evidence of high self-knowledge, whilst high shock value is not.
7. Pain threshold
The idea of tolerance to pain is one that I am sure anyone reading this blog will understand. In some way or other, we all face situations or circumstances where our pain threshold is tested. In some instances we even learn to adjust and adapt to it, by raising our tolerance threshold, thereby insulating ourselves from its effects. Likewise, self-knowledge is dependent, not just on our capacity for recognition (ie: whether we can see it) but also for acknowledgement (ie: whether we need to do something about it). With self -knowledge, a lower ‘pain threshold’ implies a lower level of tolerance and higher propensity for action. By contrast, a higher ‘pain threshold’ implies a higher level of tolerance and a lower propensity or action.
In conclusion, the capacity for self-knowledge is not just a highly desirable character trait, but also a change-making ‘super-power’. In the context of growth, development and improvement, absolutely nothing happens without self-knowledge. However, with self-knowledge you can re-appraise what you previously thought was possible and set expectations higher than you could have ever imagined. Perhaps above all, with self-knowledge you have the means, method and motivation to radically transform your personal brand.
