Eight ways to survive toxic ‘leadership’
Image courtesy of Icons 8 Team on Unsplash
This is the third in a three-part series focusing on organisational toxicity. The first blog addressed ‘nine subtle signs that your organisation is becoming toxic’ and the second covered ‘the eight most dangerous signs of toxic leaders’.
Toxicity in the workplace is a very serious matter. In practical terms, a toxic working environment can impact on productivity levels, lead to increased sickness absence and in worst case scenarios result in employees quitting their employment. There are absolutely no upsides to toxicity in the workplace.
Employers have a duty of care to ensure that the respect and dignity of their employees is paramount. As such, the very existence of a toxic working environment runs counter to notion of respect and dignity in the workplace. Not only that but it speaks to a complete failure and dereliction of leadership in the performance of a very basic role.
But what happens if the source of workplace toxicity is someone in leadership? Specifically, if the toxic conduct is driven less by ignorant stupidity and more malevolent malpractice? This is not as uncommon as you may think. There are many who are promoted into leadership, in particular senior leadership, lacking the emotional, social and intellectual maturity to perform such roles. In the hands of such people, leadership authority and the power that is derived from it, becomes a tool to indulge every whim no matter how petty and self-serving. Ignoring the natural impulses to control themselves, such individuals can leave absolute chaos in their wake.
The good news is that you do not have to be a victim of this kind of delinquent behaviour. On the contrary, with the right approach you can take control of the situation and ‘detox’ your workspace. With the context now set, described below are the eight ways to survive toxic ‘leadership’.
1. Diagnose it correctly
Most people know what toxic behaviour feels like and would therefore be able to call it when they experience it. But there is a more nuanced point here about clearly differentiating between that which is done with malevolent intent and that which is done thoughtlessly. On the face of it, they both seem as bad as each other, but in the context of toxic ‘leadership’ they are worlds apart. One of the behaviours is borne out of negligence and is more likely to be corrected when challenged, whilst the other is calculated, with the objective of doing harm. Diagnosis enables you to determine the appropriate remedy. To coin a phrase: you do not need a sledgehammer to crack a nut.
2. Understand the difference between vertical and horizontal hierarchy
If you do not understand how hierarchy works, then toxic ‘leadership’ will gobble you up at one end and eject you out of the other. Toxic ‘leadership’ believes that the only hierarchy that matters is vertical, where authority is directed downwards. That is a fatal mistake, because the equaliser is the horizontal hierarchy of accountability, which is flat. Within it, seniors are as accountable to subordinates as subordinates are to seniors. To temper or neutralise the vertical power of toxic ‘leadership’, you need to develop confidence with the horizontal hierarchy, specifically how to effectively wield power and hold others accountable within it.
3. Deprive it of a target rich environment
One of the ways in which toxic ‘leadership’ works, is to draw a response. Toxic ‘leaders’ look for signals and need to know that their efforts are having the desired impact. It is important that you deny them this knowledge wherever possible. That is not to say that the deliberate and intended attacks of a toxic ‘leader’ may not be deeply offensive to you. Rather, the point is that you must control the narrative. Toxic ‘leaders’ are predators and can smell vulnerability. Therefore, any perceived signs of weakness will simply bring on more of the same not less. The first battle in surviving toxic ‘leadership’ is control of the mind. Let them see that they are not having the effect on you that they think they are.
4. Allow it to hyper-extend and break cover
Toxic ‘leadership’ lacks self-awareness. Due to its erroneous belief that the vertical hierarchy is the only one that matters, it will inevitability hyper-extend itself even beyond the boundaries of that. A toxic ‘leader’ frustrated by their ability to ‘bring you to heel’ will go to greater and greater extremes to assert themselves. Over time, subtle acts of pettiness become more overt and eventually rise to the level of misconduct. It is important to note here that you should not provoke such a response, but rather allow toxic ‘leadership’ to become carried away by its own momentum. Here, your ability to maintain an accurate chronology of events will serve you extremely well.
5. Turn their arrogance into evidence
Arrogance is a detestable character trait. It is even more so when present amongst those in positions of responsibility. Toxic ‘leaders’ inhale self-assurance and exhale arrogance. It is a function of their very existence. Fortunately, for the purposes of evidence gathering, this means that they are the equivalent of an eat as much as you like buffet. Ultimately, their arrogance will be their undoing. Amongst the debris of their carelessly constructed communications, look for evidence of thinly veiled threats, over-bearing supervision and work-place harassment. As you gather the evidence, the fact pattern and narrative will begin to emerge.
6. Show your hand but don’t play your cards
There is no point collecting evidence of leadership misconduct if you are not prepared to hold anyone accountable. At a certain point you may need to show your hand. In the first instance, this should be a tactical move to let the aggressor know that you have the goods on them. An email detailing and chronicling the misconduct with reference to the evidence that you have gathered, will usually be enough to make the point. Remember, toxic ‘leaders’ are essentially bullies and cowards. The very thing that bullies fear the most are people who stand up to them. Showing your hand is the ultimate power play, as it makes it clear to the abuser that you have all the options.
7. Respond but never ever react
The very oxygen of toxic ‘leaders’ is the reaction. They absolutely live for it. If they can provoke you to say or do something impulsive, then they have you exactly where they want you. Remember, this is all about the psychological subtlety of power. Above all else, the toxic ‘leader’ needs to know that they have power over you. Therefore, the appropriate response to provocation is to be careful, cautious and considered. Aside from the discipline of such a response, it is often utterly confusing to a provocateur, desperate for the quick ‘hit’ of a knee jerk reply. Where toxic ‘leaders’ are concerned, take power from them and you will have power over them.
8. Identify your confidantes and create your comfort zone
In the face of toxic ‘leaders’ you will likely need both confidantes and a comfort zone. This resource will function as a safe space for you to share your experiences with trusted others. As well as an invaluable sounding board to test your thinking or moderate your responses, this group may also become an essential part of your audit trail. It is important to keep in mind that toxic ‘leaders’ thrive in isolated spaces. They want their misconduct to remain hidden. Isolation heightens their perception of power. Nothing is more terrifying to toxic ‘leaders’ than the knowledge that you are sharing in the open, what they want to be concealed.
Co-habiting in a working environment with a toxic ‘leader’, is not what anyone signs up for. A bit like being over-board in a sea full of sharks, you must be constantly alert. However, the key to surviving toxic ‘leadership’ is to remember that you are not a victim. On the contrary, by being spatially aware, you can establish clear boundaries and wield considerable power. The other thing to keep in mind is that the arrogance and predatory instincts that drive toxic ‘leaders’ means that they will eventually destroy themselves. The key is to always remain calm and measured. Toxic ‘leaders’ need you to react on their terms. Deprive them of that at all costs. The only terms on which you should ever respond are yours.
